what are you doing? stahp!

don't you know i've moved?  i am now a wordpress blogger.  go here instead:

anniesoup.com


that is all.

so long, summer

Not a baby anymore

Oh, how we love the cabin

This photo brings me joy on so many levels

Xander in kindergarten!

alright, so i guess i'm not really a mom who takes pictures of her kids on their first day of school.  so you can forget about that.  none the less, it is still worth noting that we have a kindergartener now!

Xander has been ready to get back to school.  so have i!  it sure is nice to get back to a "normal" schedule.  

kindergarten is 2 times a week, full days.  that means he gets to eat his lunch at school (weird!).  Xander also gets to repeat pre-school on the non-kindergarten days.  not because he "failed" at pre-school.  it will just be extra interaction with kids close to his age that will help him develop more advanced social skills.  i think he'll also be doing some extra-curricular activities like he did last year.  (gymnastics, horse ridding, swimming, etc).  

i am a little nervous about kindergarten, mostly because they will be doing more writing this year.  and Xander doesn't write anything.  he can just barely write his name.  it's hard for him to make the letters, and when they don't come out "right" it becomes frustrating for him.  so he just doesn't do it.  i wonder if he's left handed sometimes.  but he is starting to read things now, so at least he won't struggle in that department.

so for his first day of school they had an assembly where they were asking trivia about Mountain View School.  Xander was sitting with a buddy from an older grade, and he wanted to answer a question so bad.  so for one of the questions his buddy was able to give him the answer when he was called, on and he won a toque!  he was very excited!

it will be a great year.  but it sure is quiet around here during the day.  that's not a bad thing really.  just different.  Judy sure is crying less (Xander isn't a bully to her, she is just really territorial lately).  

go grizzlies!!

house update!

yea... there is no update...

for some reason we've been waiting weeks for our engineered drawings to come in from the manufacturers.  so to answer one of the questions we've been asked lately:

no, we haven't dug a hole yet.  we can't dig until we get the engineered drawings to know where proper footing/pilling placements need to be.  we can't even get the building permit!

everything is waiting on the engineered drawings.  we signed off on our house plan weeks ago, so why is it taking so long to get the official drawings?  we don't know.  but that is the update.  

we are completely tied up in these drawings.  i hope that doesn't mean bad news.  by my estimation, we are 4-6 weeks behind where we initially wanted to be.  

but it is what it is, and we're not going to worry too much about it.  after all, we can stay here at the campground indefinitely so there is really no rush... other than i don't want to be stuck out here in January and February!  so much snow... so.so.much.snow...

Xander, in a nut shell

i found this video on my phone.  i was out of the house, and the kids were just spending some quiet time indoors.

well, Xander found my phone and began to entertain himself by making little videos.

over 20 videos.  all.exactly.the.same.

ever since forever, Xander has played this way.  finding little patterns and play routines he'll do over and over and over and over again.

so this is Xander, in a nut shell.

Alpine Slides at Whitefish

we took the kids to the Alpine slides at Big Mountain.  it was a blast!  we will go back again for sure!

Judy's first time down.  Clearly a big hit!

Riding back up.  Almost as fun as the ride down!

Yahoo!

question: do you have questions?

alright, this is a quickie:

i'm doing up a new "autism card" for Xander.  since we know so much more now that we did even 6 months ago, we are due for an update.  we feel like we've really pin-pointed some things and can be more helpful in giving people the tools to help him.

so basically the card will have some information about what autism is for Xander, and some tools that can help you navigate him successfully.  

i've been putting it together and it popped into my head that maybe there are some obvious questions i am missing that i could answer on the card.  so i am putting it out to there: are there any questions that would be helpful to answer and add to Xanders "autism card"?

i would pleased as punch if there were any i could answer.  i would be just as pleased if i didn't have any, because maybe that means i'm being informative enough.  

hahaha, i just realized: my kid actually does come with a manual...

we have a road!

so i'm probably going to start posting more about our house progress.  this is partially because i would like to document it in some way.  

but mostly i'm just excited and want to show off!

here is the latest development!  a road!  i know it doesn't seem like much, but i think it is a pretty big deal!

the road

have you ever seen a cuter girl?  i didn't think so!

giving up? or growing up?

i used to think that if i could just get Xander to bend to my will as "the parent" he would eventually figure out that i'm the boss and he has to do what i say.  that he would stop whining, quit being defiant and just start being more flexible.  

indeed, we are most likely all products of this type of parenting style.  it's not a bad thing.  this was my philosophy: my kids should to adapt to my life, not the other way around.  

but what happens if your kid lacks basic skills in adaptability and flexibility?

knowing what i know now, i have no doubt in my mind that Xander would be doing well if he could.  

this is important.  kids do well, if they can.  

if Xander had the skills and tools, don't you think any he would use them so he could stop being so miserable?  and Xander is lacking many skills allowing him to do well.  and that is the first step.  recognizing and appreciating the fact that your kid is lacking and has not developed certain skills.  

if you can't appreciate and accept that fact, then things can never progress.  you will be stuck.  and misery will persist on all sides.  

so, am i giving up?  or am i just growing up?

is it giving up to let your kid do things "his way" most of the time?

have i given up by becoming more flexible and bending to his will instead of mine?

is it giving up to be constantly problem solving with your kid when all you want to say is "you're fine, you'll get over it!"

Xander will always require a different parenting style and concessions will have to be made.  so why don't YOU get over it?

he is a black and white kid living in a grey world.  can you fathom the idea of seeing only black and white, but having grey shoved in your face at every moment of every day?

you can't expect a kid to stop drowning without teaching them first how to swim.  telling a kid to "stop drowning, or else!" won't keep their head above water for long.  

Xander has spent most of his life just trying to survive and keep his head above water.  and we've all been the idiots at the side of the pool yelling "quit drowning, or else!"

interesting perspective.

so, am i giving up?  yes.  but only my pride.  

which leads me to believe that maybe i am growing up after all.  

blogosphere doldrums

i am in blogosphere doldrums.

Xander is experiencing his own doldrums.

and i, in turn, am also in the doldrums.

(don't know what the doldrums are?  look it up.  thanks mom, for teaching us kids about the doldrums so i can be more interesting in my conversation.  maps in the kitchen people, that's all i'm sayin')

i guess i should actually re-phrase.  we are just coming out of the doldrums.  the wind has picked up and we are all on our way again.  but february thru april were straight up doldrums.

Xander had a tough winter.  we came to a point where things just weren't working like they used to.  old strategies that used to do the trick were no longer getting us by.  as soon as things started to stop working, it didn't take long before we were sliding pretty fast down to the bottom.  and we hit the bottom pretty hard.

i wouldn't say things were going backwards, per se.  it's just best described as things not working anymore.  i don't know why it took us so long to figure out what was going on.  i guess it's true when they say sometimes you have to hit the bottom before you start climbing again.

the best way to describe it: frustration.  for Xander.  for his family.  and probably for his teachers too.

but i think i've figured something out.  my inflexibility directly effected his inflexibility.  talk about showdown of the century (only it was every day).  i need to change before he can change.  i can change easier than he can.  it's still hard though!  but i will be able to do it easier than Xander.

so we are on a new path.  and things are working again.

but it hasn't been all bad (far from it in fact).  Xander and Judy still continue to amaze me.  Xander will often surprise me with an insightful comment, and Judy is basically a crack up.  we are truly blessed.

the most exciting thing is that we are building a house in Mountain View.  we've got some land, and things are happening!  we are so happy to be putting our roots down in Mountain View.  there is no where else i'd rather be.  (okay, well maybe hawaii would be nice)

Our land!  Digging a well!

one last thing.

i've had an image in my mind for the last few weeks.  a memory.  some of my siblings may remember this.

many of you know my mom had cancer, and thus through her treatments lost her hair.  so during that time she wore a wig.  i remember sitting out in the car one sunday morning, waiting for my mom to come drive us to church.  we were all waiting.  it was a VERY windy day.  i remember as she came out, hands full carrying her church bag, the wind was gusting.  and every time the wind would gust we would all go "whooah..... whoooooaaah...." thinking at any moment the wig would be blown right off her head and never be seen again.  but she made it to the car without losing her hair.  we all exhaled in relief.  i'm convinced that out of sheer determination, my mom willed that wig to stay on her head.

and to contrast that image, almost the exact same setting.  waiting for mom to drive us to church and her emerging from the house without her wig, it being the first time going out without it.

thanks mom, for teaching me.  even when there was no lesson.  i love you.