re-visited

couldn't sleep tonight and re-visited some old videos.  this one made me smile.  i made this 17 months ago, when we were getting ready to move from high river.  

You are stronger than you think

Rob: "i just hope the baby is healthy.  you know, mentally and physically.  because i just don't think i would be able to handle that."

Annie: "sshhhh!  don't even say that!"

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no doubt, these are thoughts shared by many expectant, first time parents.  

this post has been mostly inspired by a friend, who's 2 1/2 year old daughter has just recently been diagnosed with Leukaemia.  i cannot imagine what that would be like.  grief, frustration, self-doubt, hope, and a roller coaster of other emotions.  and through all that, endless support from friends and family.  

"i don't know how they do it", "you are so strong", "i could never go through something like that".  those may be some of the comments of people looking in onto a seemingly impossible situation.  don't short change yourself by saying things like that.  you are stronger than you think.  

Autism is not Leukaemia.  but i can understand, or at least appreciate, the idea of getting hit with something that will profoundly effect your child forever.  

every day you get up and do what needs to be done.  you do it because you love your child.  you do it because your capacity to fight is in the very fibre of your being.  and you do it unfailingly until the days battle is done.  you will amaze yourself at what you can do!

some days are less graceful than others.  there may be anger and frustration, but even greater is the joy and gratitude from victories won.  

this is a poem from my friend's blog, documenting her daughters path being travelled with Leukaemia.  i believe it is fitting for any and all of life's unexpected turns.  (http://scarlettjarman.blogspot.com)

The Monument

God, before he sent his children to earth
Gave each of them
a very carefully selected package
of problems.

These, he promised smiling,
are yours alone. No one
else may have the blessings
these problems will bring you.

And only you
have the special talents and abilities
that will be needed
to make these problems
Your servants.

Now go down to your birth
and to your forgetfulness. Know that
I love you beyond measure.
These problems that I give you
are a symbol of that love.

The monument you make of your life
with the help of your problems
will be a symbol of your
Love for me.

Your Father.

___________________________________

Annie: "hey, do you remember having that conversation before Xander was born, about not wanting him to be unhealthy mentally or physically?  what do you think, now that he's got this Autism thing?"

Rob: "well, it's not really that bad.  is it?"

see?  you are stronger than you think.