blogosphere doldrums

i am in blogosphere doldrums.

Xander is experiencing his own doldrums.

and i, in turn, am also in the doldrums.

(don't know what the doldrums are?  look it up.  thanks mom, for teaching us kids about the doldrums so i can be more interesting in my conversation.  maps in the kitchen people, that's all i'm sayin')

i guess i should actually re-phrase.  we are just coming out of the doldrums.  the wind has picked up and we are all on our way again.  but february thru april were straight up doldrums.

Xander had a tough winter.  we came to a point where things just weren't working like they used to.  old strategies that used to do the trick were no longer getting us by.  as soon as things started to stop working, it didn't take long before we were sliding pretty fast down to the bottom.  and we hit the bottom pretty hard.

i wouldn't say things were going backwards, per se.  it's just best described as things not working anymore.  i don't know why it took us so long to figure out what was going on.  i guess it's true when they say sometimes you have to hit the bottom before you start climbing again.

the best way to describe it: frustration.  for Xander.  for his family.  and probably for his teachers too.

but i think i've figured something out.  my inflexibility directly effected his inflexibility.  talk about showdown of the century (only it was every day).  i need to change before he can change.  i can change easier than he can.  it's still hard though!  but i will be able to do it easier than Xander.

so we are on a new path.  and things are working again.

but it hasn't been all bad (far from it in fact).  Xander and Judy still continue to amaze me.  Xander will often surprise me with an insightful comment, and Judy is basically a crack up.  we are truly blessed.

the most exciting thing is that we are building a house in Mountain View.  we've got some land, and things are happening!  we are so happy to be putting our roots down in Mountain View.  there is no where else i'd rather be.  (okay, well maybe hawaii would be nice)

Our land!  Digging a well!

one last thing.

i've had an image in my mind for the last few weeks.  a memory.  some of my siblings may remember this.

many of you know my mom had cancer, and thus through her treatments lost her hair.  so during that time she wore a wig.  i remember sitting out in the car one sunday morning, waiting for my mom to come drive us to church.  we were all waiting.  it was a VERY windy day.  i remember as she came out, hands full carrying her church bag, the wind was gusting.  and every time the wind would gust we would all go "whooah..... whoooooaaah...." thinking at any moment the wig would be blown right off her head and never be seen again.  but she made it to the car without losing her hair.  we all exhaled in relief.  i'm convinced that out of sheer determination, my mom willed that wig to stay on her head.

and to contrast that image, almost the exact same setting.  waiting for mom to drive us to church and her emerging from the house without her wig, it being the first time going out without it.

thanks mom, for teaching me.  even when there was no lesson.  i love you.